Tag Archive for Why a Daughter Needs a Dad

Suicide! Why is it becoming more prevalent among Pro-Athletes?

May 4, 2012 Achieve Success Academy 3 comments

The doors fly open when you’re a professional athlete~ Dennis Rodman, Retired NBA Player

As a retired defensive football player myself, you can’t help not notice such players like Lyle Alzado, Junior Seau, Ray Lewis, Jack Lambert, Dick Butkus, Brian Urlacker to name a few that play or have played professional football. Great athletes with size, speed and talent.

I played in high school and college but it wasn’t in my deck of cards to get to that level. The man upstairs had another plan for me. I dreamt about it at as a kid to play in the NFL just as so many other kids do. The fame, the fortune, the lifestyle seemed all so attractive to me. The chances of getting to that level are so slim however having a 6’3″; 250lb frame with some athletic ability does help. The only thing I didn’t have was the height. My high school coach once told me that if I was 6’2″ or taller I would have played on Sundays. Well, do I really agree with that? I’m not too sure if I do. There are some, not many, playing in the NFL at 5’11″ at the Linebacker position. Again, we are put on this earth for a reason and playing in the NFL wasn’t meant to be for me.

You’re on this beautiful planet for a short time. Nothing last forever. Enjoy every minute of it with the people that matter most to you. ~John R. Salkowski

Thinking about mortality is not what young people do. Young people feel invincible like they will live forever. Thinking about mortality hit me when I turned 40. Having a child and watching her grow up so fast. Life goes by so fast. When I hit 40, I realized that I had already lived half my life. It just amazes me what people do to their bodies. We are only on this earth a short while, so why not take care of the only one you get. It’s reported that the average life expectancy for an average adult male is 78 while the life expectancy for an NFL player is 50-55. Why is this? Is it the trauma their bodies go through, is it their lifestyle, it is the pain medication they take to get back on that field sooner? It amazes me that playing in the NFL cuts 30yrs off their lives.

With all the hype about concussions and head trauma in the NFL today, you can’t help and wonder what the long term affects are to these athletes and their long term health. I’ve had several concussions over the course of my life and I will tell you that they just get worse after each one. It takes longer to recover. I’m not sure what the average number of concussions an NFL player gets over the course of his career but I have to stop and think how the hell can a concussion in a contact sport be prevented? Tackling with your shoulder and not your head can help but how can the NFL prevent them all together? Maybe the NFL is not trying to prevent them all together but taking the necessary measures to prevent most of them.

There are two types of collisions in football. The player hitting its target and the player’s internal organs hitting their body. The latter is what causes the concussion and/or injury. Being a retired police officer and investigating hundreds if not thousands of vehicle accidents over 15yrs, the one impact that kills people the most is the internal organs slamming against their body. It’s the same premise in football.

Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle ~Napoleon Hill

With the recent headlines of the future Hall of Famer, Junior Seau committing suicide, one must wonder what’s going on with the increase in suicides amongst professional athletes. Seau had fortune, fame, 3 children, and great personality and to take his own life at the age of 43 with so much more ahead of him, simply blows my mind.

We may never know what drove Junior Seau to take his own life but there are talks about the physical trauma of pro football that leads to so many brain injuries and early deaths. Last year another retired NFL player, Dave Duerson also committed suicide in the exact same way Seau took his live. Duerson left a note behind indicating that he wanted his brain examined after his death. The examination revealed that he did in fact suffer from neuro-degeneration. The NFL is under attack from lawsuits filed by some 1,500 former players that are alleging the NFL concealed the links between concussions and permanent brain injury.

There is also talk about Seau not being able to cope with life outside the limelight. Going from being a rock star from his college days to his incredible 20yrs in the NFL with 80,000 screaming and cheering fans, getting ask over and over again for his autograph is a culture shock when that stops to say the least. When you no longer have that adrenaline rush, history tells us that the loss of that defining part of your life leads to destructive personal behavior. Thoughts and acts of suicide haunt people from all walks of life and all corners of society. Sadly, football players do not hold a monopoly on tragic lives that end early. We shouldn’t pretend that they do. Maybe Seau was haunted by issues and problems that had little to do with his career in the NFL.

I know that when I was at the peak of my suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the thoughts of suicide and homicide often crossed my mind. The depressive state that you get into sometimes is irreversible for some. There were times I would be sitting in my patrol car, isolated and tucked away so no one could find me with my hand on my gun. The thought of ending my torment was such a great feeling. No more suffering and dealing with the everyday bullshit I was faced with. The very one thought that kept me from pulling that trigger was my daughter. That very little special beautiful girl that lite me up like a Christmas tree when I would see her made me not do it. My relationship with my daughter means more to me than anything on this planet. She is why I continue to press on-ward and up-ward, face challenges head-on, struggle through my failures, fight to overcome adversity and fear. She is my WHY power.

I wish for so many people in this world to find their why power? Everyone on this planet has a reason and a purpose to live. Our struggles are temporary not permanent. They’re only permanent if we allow them to be.

It’s the small things in life that matter most. It’s not the fame, fortune, autographs that make us who we are. It’s our WHY that makes us who we are!

I’m John R. Salkowski, Founder of AchieveSuccessAcademy.com, Entrepreneur, Author, and Speaker on Leadership, Success and Overcoming Adversity. Retired Police Officer, Survivor of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) stemming from a shoot and kill robbery incident.

Copyright 2012. Achieve Success Academy. All Rights Reserved.

 

Great Leader’s Take Sincere Interest in Others

March 29, 2012 Achieve Success Academy No comments

“Taking interest in others is a sure way of making friends faster and building long lasting successful relationships” ~John R. Salkowski

Law of Attraction:

Do you believe in the Law of Attraction? I certainly do. The Law of Attraction will attract the people and things you want into your life if you put it out there to the universe to see and hear. I’ll tell you a story why I believe the Law of Attraction works for me.

My life changed forever on January 10th 2000. On this very day, I was involved in an on-duty shooting that involved me taking another man’s life. This incident stemmed from a Robbery incident where it eventually would turn fatal.

Following the years ahead, I felt my life spiraling out of control. I was acting in such a way that no one wanted to be around me let alone even know me. I was isolating myself from society because I began to hate people and just about everything out there. I looked through a glass that was half empty. This wasn’t me, however I allowed myself to be like this for years. It affected my life in such a way that if I didn’t do something about soon, I was headed down a tragic path. Unbeknownst to me, I was suffering from PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This carried on for 3yrs before I committed myself to making a change.

I began to read books on personal development like it was going out of style. I began to research people that were living a life that I could only dream about. So, I began to study people that basically came from nothing and had built huge empires for themselves. I studied self-made men and women. Books like, Think and Grow Rich, Laws of Success, The Secret, Anger Free, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Goals, Missed Fortune, Eight Steps to Seven Figures, A Christians Life Manual, Why a Daughter Needs a Dad, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Little Book of Big Bible Promises and so many others. These books have changed my life. My attitude toward life, people, success, relationships with friends, family and loved ones began to change. With the help of these books and cutting out all negative things in my life that were affecting my attitude like the local news, newspapers, negative people, Television in general, my life began to prosper.

The Building Blocks of Leadership Success

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these”. ~ George Washington Carver

I once read a quote from Gandhi, “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist”. When I read this it hit me like a ton of bricks had just fallen on me. How true was this, I thought?

I have learned that one of the most important keys to a better life, if not the most important one, to building successful relationships is your ability to show a sincere interest in the lives of others. Not only to that person but also to the things that are most important to that person. By expressing genuine interest in someone’s qualities, background, stories, hobbies, career, family, children or anything else closely connected to that person, you will give them a gift- a sense of importance, wellbeing and value.

Here are a few things that I have learned over the years by studying Leadership, Success and Inspiration:

1) When Meeting Someone New or Running into a Friend~When you meet people for the first time or run into them again, you have an opportunity to make a positive impression on them. The key here is to take 10 seconds and make them feel like they are the most important person on this earth. Look them in the eyes with warmth and authenticity and offer them a friendly greeting. If appropriate, give them a firm handshake and/or hug.

2) Call Them by Name~ In all of your communication, written or verbal, first time or repeated, make it a point to use a person’s name. This is very hard for me at times, because I am one to forget a name but never forget a face. When I read Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People it said if you want to win friends, make it a point to remember their name. If you remember their name, you make an impact on them which indicates that they have made an impact on you, adding a sense of importance.

3) Look That Person Directly in The Eyes and Listen Intensely~Have you ever met someone and while talking to them, there looking around at what’s going on around them. Literally paying you no mind. This is not only ignorant but very rude. It makes a person feel unworthy. By looking them in the eyes, this shows the person that you respect them and respect what they are saying. In order to get respect, you must give respect.

4) Inspire and Encourage Others~By inspiring and encouraging others, you lift their spirits, enhance their self-confidence and add fuel to their motivational fire. Perhaps more than anything you give them hope and inspiration. If simple words of encouragement can do so much to enhance someone’s life, why don’t we all do more of it? How long could it take? 10-20 seconds?

5) Acknowledgement~When you acknowledge people, you recognize their value and importance. How about hugging your child(ren) before they go off to school? Or saying “Good Morning” to your co-workers as you walk through the office? Or saying hi to an acquaintance you see dining at another table in a restaurant. When you go out of your way to acknowledge people you will make a positive impression on them.

When you genuinely show an interest in others, they too will show an interest in you. Make it your priority today to Take Sincere Interest in Others!

I’m John R. Salkowski, Founder of AchieveSuccessAcademy.com, Retired Police Officer, Survivor of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) stemming from a shoot and kill robbery incident, Author, Speaker on Leadership, Success and Overcoming Adversity.

Copyright 2012. Achieve Success Academy. All Rights Reserved.